Inspired Momx1

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Nothing Is Perfect & Everything Is Perfect

We went for an evening walk at our favourite park again last Saturday, this time with daddy tagged along.  We took a leisure stroll alongside the park to enjoy the fresh air while admiring the beauty of nature.  My son wore his RM10 fake Crocs that daddy bought from SS2 morning market and he told me it's comfortable.  I am not a fan of Crocs and that explains why till now I don't own any, fake or ori... :)

Looking at this photo, how time flies and my son has grown so much without us realising.  I still remember vividly that I had to make a tough decision to quit my job 8 years ago under the doctor's advice.  I had difficulty to conceive after more than 5 years trying and after a couple rounds of fertility treatment, I was advised to take a break from work.  I was a perfectionist at work back then and could be unrealistic at times which usually got myself stressed and tangled up with more unnecessary work. 

My blogger friends and some of my personal friends have commented that I am such a wonderful mother but little did you know that my boy had to endure his mother's kiasuness attitude (afraid to lose) when he first started nursery at three.  I would yell and threaten him whenever his homework was not up to my expectations (my sister always says I set unreachable ones, knowing me well as I was her tuition teacher before.. Hahaha).  I even caned him until his whole body shivered out of shock.. Poor boy..  I cried myself to sleep everytime I did that to him as I knew I was doing more harm than good with my overacted actions but I just could not help it...

Along the way, I learned from my mistakes and read a lot of books about good parenting.  I realised my forceful way of coaching just would not work on my son.  His mind shuts down totally whenever he is under stress.. and year after year, my perfectionism and kiasuness attitudes are wearing off bit by bit.  I guess.. all because of my LOVE for my son.  I have learned to become more patient.. not so successful yet as I still lose my head over his dilly-dallying kind of attitude.

My son makes me realise one thing...

In nature, nothing is perfect and everything is perfect..
Trees can be contorted, bent in weird ways..
And they are still beautiful..

- Alice Walker -

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Anonymous mumsgather said...

Patience is a virtue every mother needs and I am still searching for it. :P

September 21, 2010 at 8:21 AM  
Blogger Caroline Ng May Ling said...

u're really a wonderful mother ! :D

September 21, 2010 at 9:33 AM  
Anonymous mommy to chumsy said...

this is a lovely post. we all want what's best for our children :) you are a great mommy :)

September 21, 2010 at 9:40 AM  
Blogger eugene said...

Well, it is all because we are parent, always wanting to have the best for our children, but you know something,as the children grow older,we need to learn to let go a bit here and there,letting them to find their own footing.

I have my 13 years old boy,have so much of problem dealing with him, on a hindsight now i realized,i must let him find his own identity and not the one i want to give him.

so,i let him argue with me now,speak his minds out, get angry with me sometimes, on top of that we always settle the score by saying " I love you" to each other.

take care now

September 21, 2010 at 9:55 AM  
Blogger Cindy said...

Because you have been waiting for a child for so long, not your fault to expect the best from your son. But children is children, children always playful.

September 21, 2010 at 2:00 PM  
Blogger mNhL said...

As a mother myself, I'm learning everyday too. Learn to control my bad temper, talk nicely with the kids and guide them properly rather than becoming a mad women myself. You are doing great there.

September 21, 2010 at 2:27 PM  
Blogger YANZ said...

I think ur a good mommy =) at least u know ur mistakes and u learn from them... I know of some mommies proudly proclaiming to me about how they 'trained' (i call it torture) their kids and that I should do the same for my baby too... *sweat* =_="

September 21, 2010 at 4:56 PM  
Blogger Shenny's mommy said...

Undeniably, we all want the best for our child, so occasionally we do make mistake.
I think you are doing great.

September 21, 2010 at 6:10 PM  
Anonymous suituapui said...

If a child lives with criticism,
He learns to condemn
If a child lives with hostility
He learns to fight

If a child lives with ridicule,
He learns to be shy

If a child lives with shame,
He learns to feel guilty

If a child lives with tolerance,
He learns to be patient

If a child lives with encouragement,
He learns confidence

If a child lives with praise,
He learns to appreciate

If a child lives with fairness,
He learns justice

If a child lives with security,
He learns to have faith

If a child lives with approval,
He learns to like himself

If a child live with acceptance and friendship,
He learns to find love in the world

September 21, 2010 at 6:25 PM  
Blogger Sheoh Yan said...

i like this post. Because it sounds so familiar. Me too, a perfectionist, especially towards my children. I would yell at my kids when they failed my expectation. That's why i am going to the Di Zi Gui parenting class now, I hope i can have more patient when educating my children now.

September 22, 2010 at 12:11 AM  
Blogger Mummy Gwen said...

Thank you for this beautiful post. I yell and threathen Gwen too when her homework is not up to my expectation. I'm learning to be more patient now.

Happy Mid Autumn Festival to You and Your Family! You are a great mum. :)

September 22, 2010 at 5:34 PM  
Blogger Alice Law said...

Good saying! I'm sorry to hear that what you had gone through, and glad that you enjoy your parenting now!;)

To me imprefection is beauty, kids grow more vibrant on their own pace!^-^ Happy Mid Autumn to you and have a ncie day ahead!

September 23, 2010 at 12:02 AM  
Blogger reanaclaire said...

yes..agreed with you.. i always tell myself.. while kids are learning, we as parents are also learning as well.. every phase of life is different.. from young till old, i guess we will still be learning ... :)

September 23, 2010 at 10:38 PM  
Blogger Irene said...

om goodnes! I am also like that, very perfectionist and cannot bear standards below expectation. Vic shuts down too when under stress, and I know it, but I don't give in... how old is your son now? He looks so different from your profile pic.

Well, God bless. I hope I learn some patience too, and more love.

September 27, 2010 at 1:21 AM  
Blogger Mommy Ling said...

Ok..i guess i have to learn from you too..learning to be patience...i guess it really take lot of effort and determination

September 28, 2010 at 1:36 PM  
Blogger Annie Q said...

I am still learning too!! Learn how to be more patience towards my boys and how to "let go" and not always so stress. I remember when they just start got homework, everytime i feel stress, and i will yell yell yell..i think few blocks away also can hear my screaming. Now i learn take a deep breathe explain and explain to them, try to act cool, but most oft he time i still fail. :(

I know how you feel, you know what, i also had difficulty to conceive for 7 years, end up i go for IVF, that explain how i get my twin boys. :)

You did a good job, give yourself a pat on the shoulder. :)

September 30, 2010 at 5:13 PM  
Blogger eng eng said...

Unfair to me!!! Why until now only you realized??? :p

October 14, 2010 at 11:16 AM  
Blogger Inspired Momx1 said...

Fei Mui: Wuakakaka.... I learned from mistake and you are my guinea pig lo...

October 14, 2010 at 3:15 PM  

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